Looking in the mirror here...
Showing posts with label dec2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dec2010. Show all posts
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Strength and Vulnerability
When it was time to put Lulu down a couple of weeks ago, you can probably imagine the pain I felt about Ella having to deal with the loss of her best friend since birth. Most things Ella does on a day to day basis are all about puppies. She acts like one as she crawls around pretending to fetch a ball. She draws one in almost every picture she does, and she sleeps with almost a dozen stuffed animal puppies every night. Of course, they all stem from her love of Lulu. Half of them are named Lulu, she pretends to be Lulu and she draws Lulu.
It has been difficult watching Ella mourn the loss of her dog. She was terribly sad when we told her Lulu needed to go up to heaven and be with Jesus. We had been telling her for a week or so that Lulu was really sick and she had been with me to the vet several times. Ella got to be with Lulu for almost 2 hours before we put her down. They layed on the floor together as she watched cartoons for most of that time. Ella laying behind Lulu with her arm around her neck and her head on Lulu's ear. An hour or so after Keith took Lulu away Ella was bouncing off the walls as if nothing had happened. I was a little thrown off, but needed to roll with it.
Since then, the way she expresses her grief is to continue to draw pictures of her dog while adding “I love you Lulu” on each picture. She mentions her several times a day, whether it be that she says she misses her or something like, “good thing Lulu’s not here to be scared of the squeaky dryer” or “good thing we don’t have any Lulu hair on the carpet anymore”. She knows it’s ok to cry and miss her. She also knows that she is not coming back, but that she will be in our hearts forever.
It has been an interesting experience watching how strong Ella can be, yet still be just a 5 year old little girl that I don’t think can grasp the situation fully. The innocence she exudes while coping on a day to day basis is amplified by her sorrow. Keith and I also had a really hard time with Lulu's death, but watching Ella persevere, whether she is conscious of it or not, gives me strength. She is my strong and beautiful, but vulnerable and innocent little girl. I wish I could make everything better for her.
It has been difficult watching Ella mourn the loss of her dog. She was terribly sad when we told her Lulu needed to go up to heaven and be with Jesus. We had been telling her for a week or so that Lulu was really sick and she had been with me to the vet several times. Ella got to be with Lulu for almost 2 hours before we put her down. They layed on the floor together as she watched cartoons for most of that time. Ella laying behind Lulu with her arm around her neck and her head on Lulu's ear. An hour or so after Keith took Lulu away Ella was bouncing off the walls as if nothing had happened. I was a little thrown off, but needed to roll with it.
Since then, the way she expresses her grief is to continue to draw pictures of her dog while adding “I love you Lulu” on each picture. She mentions her several times a day, whether it be that she says she misses her or something like, “good thing Lulu’s not here to be scared of the squeaky dryer” or “good thing we don’t have any Lulu hair on the carpet anymore”. She knows it’s ok to cry and miss her. She also knows that she is not coming back, but that she will be in our hearts forever.
It has been an interesting experience watching how strong Ella can be, yet still be just a 5 year old little girl that I don’t think can grasp the situation fully. The innocence she exudes while coping on a day to day basis is amplified by her sorrow. Keith and I also had a really hard time with Lulu's death, but watching Ella persevere, whether she is conscious of it or not, gives me strength. She is my strong and beautiful, but vulnerable and innocent little girl. I wish I could make everything better for her.
Monday, December 20, 2010
BSM - Cozy Home
I don't go down into our family room much unless Keith is home. Keith games downstairs and whenever I nap or something he and Ella go down there. During the day, I usually stay upstairs with the kids because my laptop is here for work and then the kitchen for all of the kids needs. Seems I'm always getting a drink/bottle or its time to make lunch or a snack.
I went down there the other night to find this cozy little setting. Ella had taken my nest ornament, set it on a little bench and curled the branches of our tree around it. It's hard to see too, but she took Keith's little white matchbox car that he keeps on his desk and parked it just to the left of the nest.....making it it's own garage.
What a cozy little scene, I thought. Along with the nest and car were a few Littlest Pet Shop animals, so I know she was having a good time with it. Her creativity blows me away everyday. Surprisingly, I wasn't even bothered that she rearranged the ornaments and was playing with the nest. All I thought about was her being a child at Christmas. With how mature she acts, sometimes I forget she is just a little girl who wants to play, explore and have fun.
For more Best Shot Monday images, head over to Tracey's.
I went down there the other night to find this cozy little setting. Ella had taken my nest ornament, set it on a little bench and curled the branches of our tree around it. It's hard to see too, but she took Keith's little white matchbox car that he keeps on his desk and parked it just to the left of the nest.....making it it's own garage.
What a cozy little scene, I thought. Along with the nest and car were a few Littlest Pet Shop animals, so I know she was having a good time with it. Her creativity blows me away everyday. Surprisingly, I wasn't even bothered that she rearranged the ornaments and was playing with the nest. All I thought about was her being a child at Christmas. With how mature she acts, sometimes I forget she is just a little girl who wants to play, explore and have fun.
For more Best Shot Monday images, head over to Tracey's.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Rest In Peace Our Beloved Lu
We lost our beloved Lulu today to kidney disease. She will always be in our hearts and part of our family. We love you and miss you Pooh Bear, but happy to know you are now in peace.
Monday, December 13, 2010
BSM - Snow, Snow, Snow
Some of you may have heard that the Midwest got pummeled by a blizzard this past weekend. 17 inches was the official total I heard here in Minneapolis. We got so much snow that the roof of the Metrodome caved in (cool video) forcing the Vikings to move their game from yesterday to tonight and to play in Detroit rather than at home.
It was actually quite beautiful as it fell from late Friday night through all day Saturday. It seemed like it would never stop. And until the temperatures dropped to sub zero degrees with nasty wind chills, Ella had SO MUCH fun! Her little boyfriend down the street came trudging through the snowy roads that hadn't been plowed yet and the two of them frolicked carefree for quite some time. Barely seeing their legs as they played in the yard, building snow forts and eating the freshly fallen snow is what winter should be all about.
For more Best Shot Monday images, head over to Tracey's.
It was actually quite beautiful as it fell from late Friday night through all day Saturday. It seemed like it would never stop. And until the temperatures dropped to sub zero degrees with nasty wind chills, Ella had SO MUCH fun! Her little boyfriend down the street came trudging through the snowy roads that hadn't been plowed yet and the two of them frolicked carefree for quite some time. Barely seeing their legs as they played in the yard, building snow forts and eating the freshly fallen snow is what winter should be all about.
For more Best Shot Monday images, head over to Tracey's.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Team Up Thursday
Christina and I took a break last week for the holidays, what I didnt realize is that so did everyone else! In any case, we decided to catch up with ourselves and do thankful this week. Coincidentally, we both chose nature as a root. It's very hard not to be thankful for the beauty nature beholds.
I'm sure she wont mind me sharing.....These are Christina's exact words in her email to me, "No, I can't really say what it means...it just for some reason embodies thankfulness that was in my heart at the moment I snapped it." Once I opened the picture I completely agreed that no words needed to be said about the thankfulness in her heart at the time she took the picture. Unfortunately, we can usually look at visions like this longer than they can last.
I live in a suburb outside of the city. By no means am I on farm land or live in a development where the houses are far and few between. So it always amazes me how many deer come in to our yard several times a day to be fed. Last year we had 21 deer at one time. Sometimes at night, while feeding Olivia mostly, I can see their forms against the white snowy ground. The other night as I was starring out the window, the first thing I thought was, deer make me happy. They are so peaceful to watch. And unless they feel threatened, the way they compose themselves and swagger around slowly seems to make time stop for me. I don't mean like in the movies when two lovers meet and they gaze into each others eyes as things turn slow motion. I mean that during those times when I watch the deer, everything goes quiet and nothing around me matters. For giving me that feeling, I am thankful.
For more "Team-Up Thursday" diptych's, head over to Megan's
I'm sure she wont mind me sharing.....These are Christina's exact words in her email to me, "No, I can't really say what it means...it just for some reason embodies thankfulness that was in my heart at the moment I snapped it." Once I opened the picture I completely agreed that no words needed to be said about the thankfulness in her heart at the time she took the picture. Unfortunately, we can usually look at visions like this longer than they can last.
I live in a suburb outside of the city. By no means am I on farm land or live in a development where the houses are far and few between. So it always amazes me how many deer come in to our yard several times a day to be fed. Last year we had 21 deer at one time. Sometimes at night, while feeding Olivia mostly, I can see their forms against the white snowy ground. The other night as I was starring out the window, the first thing I thought was, deer make me happy. They are so peaceful to watch. And unless they feel threatened, the way they compose themselves and swagger around slowly seems to make time stop for me. I don't mean like in the movies when two lovers meet and they gaze into each others eyes as things turn slow motion. I mean that during those times when I watch the deer, everything goes quiet and nothing around me matters. For giving me that feeling, I am thankful.
For more "Team-Up Thursday" diptych's, head over to Megan's
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
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